As the candy hearts poured into the fiery quasar a wondrous thing happened, why not? They vaporized into a mystical love radiation that spread across the universe destroying many, many planets, including two gangster planets and a cowboy world. But one planet was exactly the right distance to see the romantic rays but not be destroyed by them: Earth. So all over the world couples stood together in joy. And me, Zoidberg! And no one could have been happier unless it would have also been Valentine’s Day. What? It was? Hooray!

This basically sums up my feeling about Valentine’s Day.